she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
