Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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