Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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