My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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