Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Randomize
