he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
