Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
