I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
