Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Michael Bay diarrhea
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
