I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
