I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
