yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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