just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
