its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
