At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
