Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
