Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
FUCK WHALES
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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