I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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