Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
