Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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