you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Farmville is her only friend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
