I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
