Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
