don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
