i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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