I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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