You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
