normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This house was built for laser tag.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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