Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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