You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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