You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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