just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
