Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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