I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
