last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
everyone is single if you try hard enough
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
