Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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