Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
