going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
