you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
