I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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