I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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