If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
