i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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