This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
