So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
