before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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