i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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