p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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