I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
