it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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