i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
