I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently you make a good broom.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my being single is dangerous.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
